so much inspiration sans motivation.

so i have come to realize that in spite of the numerous blogs i have drafted over the past month, i have not posted any of them.
well, lets get the boring stuff over with first.

i have a job. actually, i have two jobs. wee lets jump up and down because...wait for it...

keep a'waitin....both of those jobs are in the arts. heck no techno its true!! i am employed at the clarence brown theatre for the season as...wait for it...lead house manager. sweet, beautiful, talented jimmy brimer is retiring. how can i ever be that awesome? dont even bother answering, your answer wont even do justice to the fact that he is far grander than i will be.

secondly, i am working as a visual service representative and gift shop cashier at the knoxville museum of art.
so technically its three jobs...but who's counting right?

so yay! no more whining over unemployment. only squeeling over all the artistic inspiration i am exposed to every single day.
but blah blah blah...moving on...what would a good blog be without a bit of woe?

so in spite of all this...i have a slight glitch in my life. i dont know what i want to do. i dont even know how to even begin to explain that statement and i dont even think that statement does my true feelings justice...and we all know if anything needs justice...its my true feelings. and probably oppressed peoples...they probably have motivation.
i just dont know. and i feel like whining. i feel blessed. i have a zee jobs. i have a zee income [kinda]...i am restarting to save for nyc...and finally add da monies back into my bank account and not taking them out...
but i feel like im wasted and spent. and i am only 24 years old. okay wait no, that was a blatant lie [don't act like youve never told one before]...i feel like there is not enough time to do what i want in life.
i want to do everything. i want to act. i want to quilt. i want to design fabric. i want to draw. i want to paint. i want to distress furniture. i want to screen print. i want to graphic design. i was to illustrate. i want to read. i want to own a restaurant. i want to own a book shop. i want to travel. i want to drink a lot of good coffee [and maybe some bad]. i want to jump in a lake with no intention of getting out.
i want to inspire other people with my creations.

you know, that sort of stuff...the problem is that i have no idea where to start. foremost, i feel like i got the wrong degree...or maybe i should go get another degree...in studio art or design [graphic, interior...whatevs]...i dont know...what the hell am i talking about going back to school?

i am blessed. yes, i am being redundant. but i just want to create. i have this huge need to do that...and i feel like im not feeding that need...poor need. if only i neglected twitter that way.
oh well. i am going to finish this blog by stating that i am going to go take a self-crippling nap. i plan on it taking only 25 minutes, but we all know it will probably take 2 hours. and then im going to go learn lines...because i really need to do that.
thats probably a good place to start.

oh well...we'll see how this goes. maybe vomiting all of this out will help to organize it and start something with my life. perhaps i should get up at 7 am each day and quilt...or stay up til 5 am and paint...
who knows.
there is no set way for success.
gross, heather you sound like a self-help book. hey! maybe ill go buy a self-help book.
oh dear me...nap now.

ciao.