"heather, please line your eyes with bat goo"

cindy lee mcdevitt. i love you. [this must be whole-heartedly understood]. for you, my dear mother, are a funny, crazy lady...in every schizophrenic sense of the word. and this is for you.

my mom chastises me about the mundane things in life...brushing my hair, doing my make-up, showering daily, and mainly, my clothes. she says im not her daughter. but on the contrary, i am. my mom is very surface oriented. she cares about what people think and say and do. which is fine. it brings her pleasure to know people think well of her [or hurts her if not] so by all means, let her care.

so in the spirit of the christmas season just passed, i thought i would humor my mom. i thought i would wear eye liner...define my features for once. "care about my appearance," as my mother says.

so i did.

and i suppose i looked beautiful, in whatever way that's defined. or atleast the way it's defined by my mother. [i call her mom, by the way]. and then...
then i watched it's a wonderful life. for the first time. oh dear me have mercy. it's beautiful.
it made me cry.
no, that's an understatement. it made me...wail, blubber...sob. if those even begin to encompass the emotion i was feeling.
all while i was honoring my mother with eye liner.

so i left my friend's house where i watched the movie and promptly drove to borders to see if i could...i dont even remember what i wanted to do, i just wanted to stop bawling over this movie.

now bear in mind when i go to borders...i go to borders...i was in there for about a good 25 minutes and then i had to pee. [i always have to pee when i go to borders...i think it's something in the air].
so i walk to the bathroom and after setting off the bathroom stealer alarm for trying to take my books in there...i finally get into the bathroom. i use it and then go to wash my hands.

dear me. what the hell.
i had black and blue streaming down my face. noticable, defined lines of black and blue. i looked like a chick right out of richard thompson's song. forget bette davis eyes...lovely.

thank you mother. i am sincerely sure i would have made you so proud in front of that mirror. emo eyes and all.
so with that said, i suppose the point of this entire blog is to say, screw you mom. i love you more than life, but screw you. you'll just have to respect my barely-mascared blue eyes and non-dyed hair and old lady-like clothes that you would never wear...i love you mom.