ferns pressed in paper.

i absolutely loathe satan. it's so strange. his lies are so deceiving and so believable. it's unnerving that i continue to fall for them. laying in bed sobbing thinking hearing that the best of my life has passed, that my father's death and my mother's illness have ruined life for me, that i can never be truly happy. they are all lies. terrible horrible lies that i have believed for way too long.

for so long, i used to put my worth in other people. in my friends. honestly, i have the best friends that i could ever ask for. they are wonderful, astounding, and beautiful people and i would not trade them for the world. however, for so long, especially in the beginning of college, i would judge my own value on them. look at who i am through them. and i was invalidating myself. i was imposing satan's lies on myself. his lies that if no one calls me or pursues me for a day, im worthless.

well sir, i am validated. my worth and my identity is in jesus christ and his worth is gold.
damon kelly, who spoke at high school camp this past may, spoke of hearing god's voice versus your own voice and satan's. he said that if the voice you are hearing is telling you terrible, hideous things that make you feel inferior, you are listening to satan. nearly every single day of my life for a year i had to pray that satan would leave me. that his lies would not penetrate me and that i could sleep.

and i did. satan flees from god. darkness does not consume light and satan will not consume me. i am so thankful for value in christ. i am so thankful for friends and for mornings. and chocolate ice cream with sprinkles. gah, awesome.